Friday...Stayed back to look her back.....and she told me 有些事你不知道.......I say 知道了不理是好事......when i reach home..she message me if i'm angry...then we have some private talk....and I understand everything...almost everything....but is already enough... can't force myself not to cry....because thats something I forever doesn't wanted to hear and accept although I already know..suddenly felt i'm really alone...cause I lost her to my best brother....lost my best brother to her...now I felt I dun have anyone...everyone 100% have a best company beside..but now..I lost both that I have.... ='(.......kinda sad....and I dun have any more words can be said cause I really cannot accept it...I dunno how to face her on next next monday after holiday....I also dunno how to chat with her when she is online...I'm force to say i'm alright....because I can tell her how much I love her and how much do I care for her to replace another guy's place..I will not make it...forever the 2nd...At least I get 1st place in being the 2nd one......Im direction-less now...I dunno where to...since her arrival makes me so happy and sad....Now her department doesn't give me any expression.....I'm hanged...I need something...I dunno what else to say now....I know me and her relation will be different after yesterday's message...everything 100% change...she wont realize my change because she dun have to change...because she can face me but I cannot face her.....just because I did not tell her I love her....doesn't mean I dun....I want her love too...I'm jealous to the guy...and I know I will forever....I dun want to lose..just like that...losing in result is a small matter to me now...but losing her is meaningless to me....saying these while im crying all night....thinking of all the happy moment we have been through....FINE....I try to be the me before this..but dun blame me if there's is a different...
No comments:
Post a Comment